12/15/07

Painting by Sybil - a real crazy person who had multiple personality disorder, played by Sally Field in the made for TV movie Sybil.

I had a terrible run today. And last week too, which culminated into one of those memorable moments that you never want to remember again. Last weekend I was so exhausted that I barely finished 11 miles. I know that most people have bad training days, so I chalked it up to that and took advantage of the chill pill for the rest of the week. I even got a sarcastic (but not really) reprimand from a coach for my chilaxing at Wednesday’s workout. So I geared up for today’s run. I downloaded $20 bucks worth of new wave hits, I laid out my 3 layers for the wintry conditions, filled the necessary water bottles, packed the not-so-delicious-anymore energy gels and I was ready to rock(y) this training run.

The next morning I woke up early, had my coffee and was off. The second I entered the train station I realized one very important thing. I forgot to put on my outer layer – an important element for this morning’s 27 degrees, not to mention that it held my water/bagel $ and my freshly downloaded ipod full of soft cell and dexy’s midnight runners. So I hemmed and hawed until the train got there. Besides, it’s not such a crazy sight to see someone walking alone cursing to themselves on the train platform.

I finally entered the park and started hoofing my way to 18 miles. Without my outer layer I was really cold and my toes were numb. I was lucky enough to start running w/ a teammate and happily substituted my DJ Rob Base & EZ Rock with a discussion on our dream careers. Mine had to do with the eating, discussing and writing about food. Unfortunately, I started getting some terrible pain in both ankles that I couldn’t ignore any longer and we separated. That’s when the real fun started. A sharp pain started in my hip and my arches began to feel like they were ripping from my bones. And so began about an hour and a half of stop, stretch, walk, run, stop, stretch, walk, run…Again the pain just couldn’t be ignored I was forced to walk. The cold and odor of horse manure didn’t help either. I began to seriously contemplate quitting, but didn’t want last week to happen again. After all, I was about to finish 14 miles. And did I mention that we really only have 1 training run left? (The last two weeks are for taper.) So…how could I possibly get to race day having only accomplished 15 miles? And how about all the donors who I promised to run 26.2 miles for? I would be a fraud!!
The pain and emotional whip lashing became so severe that I made myself cry. So this was my second time today walking around like a crazy person – crying and cursing. Then I came to a crossroads. If I made a left I would reach bag watch and go home, or I could make a right and pain through for another hour. I made a left.
I arrived at bagwatch and before I could say anything Coach Steve remarked on how miserable I looked. When I’m mad I look the same as I did at 5 years old after a tantrum. Before I could start my story I looked at him and started to cry (again). Thankfully, he took me aside away from the others…(the others who completed their run today! rrhhh!) At that exact moment Head Coach Ramon came over. Concerned seeing one of his runners in distress, he talked me down from a ledge and asked me to trust him. He went on to tell me a myriad of expert coaching advice, but most importantly regardless of what happened this morning I could finish this race. Beyond being supremely embarrassed for the waterworks, I was so honored by his advice and understanding of my suffering that I was rendered silent and intently listening.

Feeling humiliated, and humbled by the realization of how truly difficult what I am undertaking actually is, I limped back over to the train. This time much better behaved.

http://www.active.com/donate/tntnyc/Kristine